The “T” Word

Ally McBeal (1997-2002)

Because who better to understand over-analysis than Ally McBeal?

That would be “tryouts.” If you are a parent of a child going through this now, it is okay to scream. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Feel better?

What is it with tryouts? The pressure, the stress, the questions, the analysis. And that is just the parents. I don’t know about other kids, but mine is focused more on an upcoming sleepover than which hockey team he might play on next season. Not that he doesn’t care – he does and he really, really, REALLY wants to make a team. But he seems to be able to let it go once the actual session is over, just like he does once the game is over.

I need to learn that skill.

Because I am spending my free time obsessing over all aspects of this phenomenon called tryouts. During the sessions a transcript of what is going on in my mind might look something like this:

“Wow, there are a lot of goalies here. More than I thought. I wonder where they all came from? That kid has a cool helmet. Why do they have the kids broken up that way? Does that mean that this is the top group? Wait, they are moving my boy from this group to another – did he do something wrong? Man, that kid has some funky-looking hair. Hmmm, they are sending some kids off the ice early. Does that mean they are in? Or are they the ones that are definitely out? Or maybe both – they know they don’t need to see them any more either way. How many teams are they going to have anyway? Oh geez, he coulda stopped that one. Maybe the coach wasn’t watching oh never mind he is looking right at him. Is this over yet?”

At least I look calm on the outside. I think.

To make this worse, after the “official” tryouts were over, we got the email for an “invite only” supplemental tryout. When I first read it, I thought “OK, he’s in, they just want to see which team he’ll go on.” Then I started reading between the lines. Then I started dissecting the lines. Breaking down each word and creating new words with them. Maybe they already have goalies for the first team and this is to see who will make the second team. Or maybe they need both but they have more goalies than they need so there will still be cuts. Or maybe they are really intense and they want to see if the kids can handle the pressure of a “do or die” tryout so they can see if they can handle a big game (that last one is more far-fetched, but it did cross my mind).

I think I just may be losing it.

Why do I do this? I suppose it will come as no surprise to anyone that I am type A and one of those people who lives in my own head. I overanalyze everything. Except when I don’t. Then I just make decisions and jump in without giving it much thought. I decided on my colleges that way. Seems that for big life decisions I just roll the die, but little things I try to control as much as I can. I’ll bet a psychologist would have a field day with that.

I do know that this is important to my son. And I want him to have success in the things that he works hard for. And I am sure there is an element of my own pride and self-esteem at play here, too. For now, though, I have to wait and see and try not to let my son pick up on my anxiety. When he looks up and sees me outside the rink, he’ll see me smile and give him a thumbs up. And when he is done, I’ll ask if he had fun and tell him he looked like he was working hard. Then we’ll go home and wait.

And I tell my son that HE has a problem with patience! He comes by it naturally.

Good luck to all going through tryouts. I hope that your players get what they want and that you don’t go crazy in the process.

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