A Culture Thing?

A friend posted an article on Facebook today that has me shaking my head. The article, from Deadspin, is about a DC-area lacrosse coach who, if the emails included in the article are true, is frightening, if not worse. In a nutshell, an 8th grade player decided to leave this coach’s program for another league. Upon hearing of this decision, the coach lost his mind and expended all of his rage at this child and the child’s parents. Let’s just say it was ugly.

And completely inappropriate, no matter what the “real” backstory might be.

What really freaked me out about this, besides how absolutely scary this guy seems from his emails, is that my son has friends who play for that organization. Boys that my son played with this spring also play for this other team.

I have posted previously about some of the experiences my son had while playing lacrosse. He has since sworn off the game and I can’t say I’m at all torn up about that. Particularly after I read more about the coach in question in the article. To be honest, I was not thrilled with what I considered the culture of the lacrosse team from pretty much the first practice. Something just bugged me and I couldn’t shake it. There was too much yelling from the coaches, for one. And what I mean by that is useless screaming without giving actual direction that might help the player make better decisions. There was also a lot of criticism being exchanged between players during practices and games. Again, not helpful stuff and not coming from players who were stars or got it right a lot. Kids who made a lot of mistakes had this idea that they were coaches and basically bossed teammates around. Overall, I just did not get a good vibe from the sidelines.

Maybe my son has just been lucky, or maybe there really is a difference between sports, but he has not experienced this kind of behavior playing hockey. He said himself that hockey is more a team and that teammates support each other and help each other out. That has certainly been true on his teams thus far. There is more community out there on the ice than I ever detected on the lacrosse field. And while I am sure that there are hockey coaches out there like this lacrosse guy, we have been fortunate not to have come across them yet. It just seems telling to me that my son has played hockey for over 3 years and has been on multiple teams at multiple rinks with multiple coaches and we’ve not encountered anyone too nutty yet he played lacrosse once on one team with one set of coaches and things went downhill quickly. I just have to wonder how systemic the problem is with lacrosse for it to appear right away like that.

Thankfully, my son has no interest in playing lacrosse again so we won’t have to deal with it from there. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that we continue to have good luck on the ice with supportive teammates and constructive coaching.

To me, that’s worth stocking up on wool socks and warm gloves year-round.

mittens

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Size Matters

Or does it? I have been reading and thinking a lot lately about the size of the goalie and how much it matters. This started when

They Might Be Giants...

They Might Be Giants… (Photo credit: themarkpike)

I was told that one of my son’s “negatives” during tryouts recently was his smaller size. It took me by surprise because he was a pretty big goalie as a Squirt and suddenly, a mere 6 weeks after that season ended, he tried out for Pee Wee and he somehow shrank.

And he’s not a little kid – just shy of 5 feet and around 90 lbs at 11 years old. According to charts I’ve seen, he is well above average and he is right in there with all of his friends (minus a couple of really short guys and a couple of guys who are on their way to NBA size in the 5th grade).

A friend shared an article with me that talks a bit about how goalie size is not as important as many coaches believe. There are drawbacks to both being really small and really big and there are other factors that play a larger role in the success of any goalie.

I started doing some more research on this size issue and found articles that discuss how NHL goalies have gotten bigger in recent years. But even then, being bigger alone is not the reason most credit these goalies with success. They are larger, yes. But they are larger guys who are quite athletic and can move much more than really big guys years ago. Back then, a big guy took up space but pretty much couldn’t move too fast or really make any other moves. They were good walls. Now, these large guys are quick and agile and flexible. Even at 6’5″.

My search led me to another size issue – that of goalie gear and the net itself. Both are being blamed for the decrease in scoring and, ultimately, to the the demise of any excitement in the game today.

Now, I understand that if your goalie is bigger and they are wearing bigger gear, then the area available to shoot and score may be diminished. However, it can be argued that players are also bigger and much stronger, with shots that can reach speeds over 100 mph. So while bigger pads may fill up more space, they also provide protection for the person who is inside of those pads.

Not having ever stood in the goal nor worn the gear, I cannot speak to what it feels like. I do know, however, how my son described being hit recently by a coach who fired the puck pretty hard during practice. The puck hit his arm pad and he said that his arm went numb for a few seconds and, when he got undressed later, he had a red mark on his arm where he had been hit. Amplify the power of the shot by a ton (and, to be fair, up the amount of padding on the arm, too) and you can imagine that less padding could be a bad thing.

As far as the net size issue – I think that is just stupid. Beyond the secondary issues of asterisks on record books (a scoring record held BNI (before net increase) or ANI (after net increase) would have to somehow be differentiated), there is the bigger issue of where will it stop? So you make nets larger, then the rink itself needs to be tweaked to allow for more room to shoot at the larger target (I’m making this up but whatever), then players get larger still, then nets should increase. And so it goes.

And let’s not forget that a bigger net size impacts more than just the pros. In case you are not aware, there are not smaller nets for younger kids, as you will find in sports like soccer. The 8 year-old goalie in his little pads and barely scraping 4 feet tall is standing in a net the same size as the 6′ plus goalie in the super large pads.

So maybe that is the ultimate argument – that any goalie who has come up through the ranks has served time in a net way larger than they are. And once they get to the “big leagues” they are awarded not only with more money and nicer gear, but finally a net that they have grown into.

Maybe I am the only one, but I have not noticed that the game has become less exciting, even if fewer goals are scored. That sounds to me more like a spectator issue, similar to the complaint I have heard regarding soccer – that there aren’t enough goals to keep folks interested. I find all the quick moves and hits and “almost goals” quite thrilling and I don’t see that things need to change. Of course, I have come to view the position of goalie from a new perspective – that of a mom.

And I don’t want my “kids” (I’ve unofficially adopted any goalie as my own when he or she is being shot upon) messed with! Just like any good goalie mom.

 

 

 

Yes, You Can!

Ok, so this is a short post but I just watched this video and it is amazing. I admit that I cried almost from the beginning. From what I read, this is a video from a youth game that included kids with special needs. Watch and be inspired!

yesIcan2

The Value of Tournaments

If you have a child playing any sport these days, you likely have experienced the joy of tournaments (if you have not, just wait, once your child plays at a certain level, tournaments will come). I recently had a conversation with my son’s coach for next season and we talked about traveling to tournaments – if we will and, if so, how many and where. The coach’s take is that tournaments have a place but if the team is going to spend the time and money to travel to a tournament, there should be a purpose, like playing against higher competition or getting the opportunity for more ice time than might come from league play. This conversation, and the fact that a ton of kids I know were at tournaments this past weekend (Memorial Day – a biggie), got me thinking about what I thought of tournaments.

I should start by saying that I have only travelled to 4 tournaments, and all were for hockey, so my experience is limited. But here are some pros and cons about tournaments that I have observed.

The good:

  • Team-building – the kids (and parents) get to spend a ton of time together at the rinks, at the hotel, and, most importantly to the kids, by the pool (finding a hotel with a pool is a MUST).
  • Experiencing other rinks in different parts of the country. We went to some nice rinks with great amenities and some that left something to be desired (the one with brown ice was interesting). Gives the kids a chance to see how others live.
  • Playing against different competition – and, I’d add, unknown competition. Sometimes it is good to play other teams and see how play differs, how the players differ, and how parents behave from different areas.
  • Tourism – there are opportunities to sightsee and visit museums or see local sports teams, which is particularly nice when you are in a town you have never been to before.
  • Fans – if you have family or friends in the area of the tournament, they can come and see the team play when they otherwise would not have that chance.

The bad:

  • Time – you have to give up at least a weekend and maybe more, plus the prep of packing, etc.
  • Expense – gas (or airfare), hotels, food, sightseeing costs, and souvenirs all add up.
  • Time off from school and work  – goes with time, as we have had to take a Friday off from school and work to get to our destination for a game or two that day.
  • Team closeness – this is more of an issue if you don’t particularly enjoy spending time with teammates and families. I liked our folks so it was fun to hang out and see each other, but I could imagine that it would be challenging if you did not get along with some folks because you do see each other at breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner, at the pool, at the rink, and even pass each other on the streets.

The ugly:

  • This mainly has to do with winning and losing. If the team does well or even wins the tournament, all of those negatives are wiped out and everyone is happy. However, if the team does poorly, then you find yourself wondering why you spent all that time and money and effort and social energy on this trip. And the trip home can be excruciating.

I’m sure I’ve missed some things for each list, so please let me know. Still not sure what our team will be doing (some local tournaments, yes, those requiring travel – not so sure), but I am sure that as long as my son continues to play travel hockey, we will experience more tournaments. Maybe even some requiring air travel, which scares me. I don’t even want to think about the bag fees for his goalie equipment!

 

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The “T” Word

Ally McBeal (1997-2002)

Because who better to understand over-analysis than Ally McBeal?

That would be “tryouts.” If you are a parent of a child going through this now, it is okay to scream. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Feel better?

What is it with tryouts? The pressure, the stress, the questions, the analysis. And that is just the parents. I don’t know about other kids, but mine is focused more on an upcoming sleepover than which hockey team he might play on next season. Not that he doesn’t care – he does and he really, really, REALLY wants to make a team. But he seems to be able to let it go once the actual session is over, just like he does once the game is over.

I need to learn that skill.

Because I am spending my free time obsessing over all aspects of this phenomenon called tryouts. During the sessions a transcript of what is going on in my mind might look something like this:

“Wow, there are a lot of goalies here. More than I thought. I wonder where they all came from? That kid has a cool helmet. Why do they have the kids broken up that way? Does that mean that this is the top group? Wait, they are moving my boy from this group to another – did he do something wrong? Man, that kid has some funky-looking hair. Hmmm, they are sending some kids off the ice early. Does that mean they are in? Or are they the ones that are definitely out? Or maybe both – they know they don’t need to see them any more either way. How many teams are they going to have anyway? Oh geez, he coulda stopped that one. Maybe the coach wasn’t watching oh never mind he is looking right at him. Is this over yet?”

At least I look calm on the outside. I think.

To make this worse, after the “official” tryouts were over, we got the email for an “invite only” supplemental tryout. When I first read it, I thought “OK, he’s in, they just want to see which team he’ll go on.” Then I started reading between the lines. Then I started dissecting the lines. Breaking down each word and creating new words with them. Maybe they already have goalies for the first team and this is to see who will make the second team. Or maybe they need both but they have more goalies than they need so there will still be cuts. Or maybe they are really intense and they want to see if the kids can handle the pressure of a “do or die” tryout so they can see if they can handle a big game (that last one is more far-fetched, but it did cross my mind).

I think I just may be losing it.

Why do I do this? I suppose it will come as no surprise to anyone that I am type A and one of those people who lives in my own head. I overanalyze everything. Except when I don’t. Then I just make decisions and jump in without giving it much thought. I decided on my colleges that way. Seems that for big life decisions I just roll the die, but little things I try to control as much as I can. I’ll bet a psychologist would have a field day with that.

I do know that this is important to my son. And I want him to have success in the things that he works hard for. And I am sure there is an element of my own pride and self-esteem at play here, too. For now, though, I have to wait and see and try not to let my son pick up on my anxiety. When he looks up and sees me outside the rink, he’ll see me smile and give him a thumbs up. And when he is done, I’ll ask if he had fun and tell him he looked like he was working hard. Then we’ll go home and wait.

And I tell my son that HE has a problem with patience! He comes by it naturally.

Good luck to all going through tryouts. I hope that your players get what they want and that you don’t go crazy in the process.

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